On Divisiveness, and Healing
It's been a chaotic couple of weeks, ladies. Phew. A lot of shock. Anger. Grief. Frustration. Fear. Divisiveness. Facebook has become an absolute mine field that many of us are avoiding because we need a break. There's just been So. Much. Negativity.
No matter one's particular political leanings, or feelings about the election, all of us share one common experience right now...OMG. THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING. They're almost here. And for many of us, that means travel, stress, joy, family drama, the potential of family drama, maybe definite family drama...and all the things that come with this annual celebration around a turkey. Perhaps you're traveling home to see family. Perhaps you're hosting this year, running around like a mad woman trying to find random items at the grocery store (unsweetened condensed milk? Is that even a thing?) while knocking over bottles, and managing a toddler. Maybe you're alone this year - lonely, and hurting. Whatever your particular story, I'm sure it's got it's own version of real, gritty, personal struggle. The holidays just bring this stuff up, and we all do our best to bravely manage the stress to try and create something beautiful. We want to connect with our loved ones.
Many of my clients are asking, however, "How the f&%k am I going to do this? My father voted for Trump, and I just can't even look at him. I just CAN'T!" How are we supposed to connect? What if we all lose our collective shit?
It's possible. That's for sure. But if your goal is to have a relatively peaceful Thanksgiving, remember that empathy is key. We don't have to agree with each other, but if we want to avoid all hell breaking loose, we need to tap into our collective humanity. Focus on what you share with family members. Where is the common ground? We can talk about that - the children, our jobs, our collective desire for a better country. Perhaps even our fears. Fear, more than any other emotion. seems to be what we're all feeling right now. For some it's fear of a racist, misogynistic and ill-prepared man now being the president-elect, and deep fear for the safety and security of the marginalized in our country. (Did I just show my bias? ;) For others, it might be fear of economic insecurity, or fear of the status quo. But one thing we all share as humans? FEAR. It's running rampant right now.
Sisters, the antidote to fear is love. Fear just can't stand up in the face of love and kindness. It's a bully that shouts loud and breaks things, but it's power is limited. So if you have to face a relative this Thanksgiving whose political opinions make your blood boil and your mind explode, try to look for their humanity. Their fragility. Their deep insecurities. We all know what it feels like to be scared. And if you just can't do it, that's OK. Avoid politics. Take a breath. Take a walk. Let go of your end of the rope if someone tries to engage you in a political tug-of-war. Then they just fall over on themselves...no one to pull and tug and argue with.
This time of year - more than any other - can bring up our deep family pain and struggles. Working with a trained Denver women's counselor can massively help decrease stress and anxiety. If you find yourself struggling with how to deal with this election or with family, give us a call. There's so much freedom to be found when we learn how to appropriately engage (or disengage) from family dynamics. We're experts at this at Root, and we would love to share our managing-crazy-family superpowers with you!
Give us a call at (720) 363-9188 or Book Online Here! We'd love to help you decrease stress and navigate the holidays with grace and ease!